Derelict Dancing - old Hornsey baths site

Part of series exploring derelict and decaying urban space

Hornsey Public Baths, London N8

Spring 2011

Others taking an interest in the building.. could be good.

(added June 11)

RELATED LINKS:

Haringey Online Discussing the possibility of reopening the baths

Fairground Collective Started proposals to reuse the site for the community  

Confusion incommunicado

[Extract from Ghosts and Marionettes]

.."The shopping basket was placed back in the pile of the other baskets. I made sure you had left. I walked out. Determined. So very determined. Oh yes. Come on world; take me on. Here I come. I could feel the fire burning. At least there’s fire. Always a good sign. Thankfully, I function this way and don’t switch off. Never.

It was a cold night. I knew I couldn’t go home. I didn’t tell you that. I withheld that information from you. I couldn’t face the music at home. Explaining, being honest, or faking it by smiles and banter. I needed to be alone. Just for a while, so I could allow myself time and space to think, to clear the air, break the icy conditions going on inside and out. To remove and leave behind what was left..."

Travel, again

Sometimes I see or do something, that reminds me of how precious life is. This unfortunately doesn’t happen often enough. ‘There is only one life’ as the saying goes, so why not make the most of it? Why is it so difficult to do those things I want o do, the way I want to do them, weather it is saying it right, doing it right, or being allowed or permitted by a system or someone else to do it – directly or indirectly.

When I was a child, I often looked ahead into my life and felt, ‘there is a lot of time’, thinking that I will decide ‘later’. That later has been and gone, and I am still not sure if I have actually decided. If I have, was it a good decision? Could I have done things differently? Why didn’t I, in that case? What kept me from following my instincts? Was it because of an authority telling me not to? Was it because I didn’t know, due to naivety? Ignorance? Fright of the unknown?

Or is there, overall, a kind of pre-determination to it all?

Flowers and Butterflies...

Flowers and butterflies - or are they moths? [whisper]

14.9.2010

With you and flowers

at my door

tonight

All the lost butterflies

returned

to that place

deep inside

where they so belong..

(I felt lost without them) [whisper]

They, again,

make music,

sing and whisper

Sometimes

they scream

they really

SCREAM

so loud

so very loud

it makes me;

all of me

automatically,

impulsively,

frantically,

restlessly;

move.

They

jump start my

engine

They are beyond

the orchestra

they feed me

with new nutrition

it is a plasma drip

straight

into my veins

of still and

life;

A new addition

to the list

a new addition [whisper]

to complete

a new addition [whisper]

to pursue

a new addition [whisper

to guard;

to keep

a new addition [whisper]

They talk and flutter

they need food

so they can feed

me

and my needs

my everything

oh, how this brief spell

of uncertainty

and worry

makes me

feel good again

thank you [whisper]

Strange Island

So why does it always take so long to get to this - to write and get a feel of archiving ideas and thoughts - that otherwise will just disappear.. Soon, I know my doorbell will ring and I will have to go.. open the door, speak, get involved.. etc etc. One thing leads to another.

Holidays, summer, sun etc.

Been there done that.

I hear the vehicle coming down the road now, bell will ring any minute now.I am writing even faster than before (if that is possible!). So, where was I......

Here, I am here.

Where are you?

I am trying hard to behave, keep myself doing the things I should do - such as at least look over work notes, financial urgencies and other such trivialities. All I can think of is the way my stomach felt when I walked into the Gropen shop a couple of days ago - that's where all the ideas were waiting for me. I almost heard them and certainly felt them, pictures, textures and the simplicity. Always simplicity. That stuff others - or, pardon me, most people dismiss or simply oversee.

More later.. doorbell to attend.

Exercise

-"Do you do a lot of exercise?", he asked me the other day. "I run", I casually replied. "Long distance", I continued. It was all rather strange. As if I were there to collect points or some form of credits. I don't know how well I really did, feedback would have been helpful. But I did rearrange a broken figurine-head in a nearby, related space. I enjoyed that bit almost as much as the rest of this strange encounter.

at long last... catching up

Time, again, is playing havoc with me. How do I allow it to happen? ..Or is there not a lot I can do? I am wondering about that question, probably more than I should about the answers, reasons.. but I am slowly catching up with the time I so need to have for developments, mere thinking and pondering. That in itself, is so important, so vital for the process of anything structured..

Having spent a lot of time brushing off worries and problems created by outside influences, I have found myself in a state of wonderment and pleasure - at the fact that I have, with the evaporation of the outside influences, managed to stay in true portrayal of myself. It is more difficult to explain than it is to feel. So I shall, as I go along, try to document this.

My spatial choreographies are also taking shape well. Perhaps they should and could be more in final stages of the development, but that is not ever how it works for me. I am happy knowing it is brewing in my brain and slow cooking is always tastier than a rushed meal of thought.

Other influences also play a vital role. Old influences that refused to go away, remain and stay part of my body, skin and soul. Thank heavens for this. How does that happen, who selects this? Who ever it is, knows a good thing when they see one. I look forward to reconnections. It's high time. I am ready.

Source: www.sistersuitcase.wordpress.com Illustrator: Heidi Saarinen